The time is quickly approaching when our next little munchkin will join us and ultimately enrich our lives and I have a strong concern about my ability to devote enough attention and time to both of my boys. In efforts to curtail this fear, I have sworn that I will devote as much time to my newborn son as I have to my first son. Numerous friends have already warned me that everything becomes a lot more lax with the second child. You tend to take fewer pictures, prepare fewer keepsakes and you aren’t as strict with your own rules and guidelines. I am constantly told that you just don’t put as much stress or effort towards the entire child-rearing process after your first child and I refuse to accept this outcome. I, the ever-changing, over-achieving 3 AMMOM, have all intentions to defy this rule and break away from the stereotype. However, I find myself falling short even now during my pregnancy.
For example, whenever anyone asks me how far along I am with my pregnancy, I give them a range with a 3 to 5 week ratio and I just can’t seem to keep track of the exact number. Even now I think that I am 28 weeks pregnant (give or take two weeks) and I just had a visit with my obgyn on Friday. During my first pregnancy I knew the exact week and day of the pregnancy and could probably recite the hour if necessary but I just don’t seem to possess that level of intensity in regards to this pregnancy. I also possess a large collection of pregnancy books that I read religiously while pregnant with my first son. I followed all the guidelines, only slept on my left side, tried not to lift heavy objects etc. etc. In contrast during this pregnancy, I think I have cracked the books on 3 occasions during the past 7 months, and once was to answer a question for my sister-in-law.
Another area where I may be falling short is in the fashion or clothing realm. I’ve decided that the maternity clothes I have now are good enough for this pregnancy. Therefore, I haven’t purchased one new article of maternity clothing since we were presented with a positive test. During my first pregnancy, it was very important that I look fabulous as well as pregnant but the drive just isn’t there this time. Unfortunately, my unborn son will also be subject to this money-saving tactic outside of the womb as well as inside. One huge advantage to having another boy so soon after my first is that he will be able to wear all of Nicholas’ old clothes, utilize his toys, sleep in his bassinet and share his room. However, I have promised myself that I will buy our newborn son at least one new item of clothing a month, in efforts to curtail the inevitable “second-hand blues”. Even with all my planned efforts, it just seems that he is doomed from the start.
One thing I had to rectify this pregnancy in order to stay true to my vow was to obtain a 4D ultrasound picture of my second child and to purchase a keepsake book for him to have as he progresses through his initial milestones. These were both things that were done for Nicholas and I religiously posted our hospital bracelets as well as documented stories about the entire pregnancy in the little book. Unfortunately, it was much later in the pregnancy that I actually obtained the high resolution picture of our unborn son. Nicholas’ 4D ultrasound occurred during my 18th week of pregnancy and here I am at week 26 or 27 or 28 or 29 (you get the picture) and I have finally obtained the pictures. I still haven’t purchased the keepsake album, but I haven’t forgotten and I will follow through.
I even seem to be more comfortable with the thought of a cesarean section birth this time around. I had a specific birthing plan with my first son and my husband and I discussed our plans in detail about the entire birthing process. I didn’t want drugs and wanted to hold out as long as possible before taking any medication -natural child-birth was the only way to go. Well, we will just say that those plans were changed and my opinions have also. The thought of a little Demerol for pain doesn’t seem like the end of the world and an Epidural is definitely a must this time around. I won’t be pondering for days over these decisions as I did during the first birthing process and I don’t see my choices as cop-outs. These are just veteran choices made with the assistance of previous experiences and a lot less stress.
I often wonder, if I am having all this trouble while baby two is still in the womb, what could one possibly expect when he arrives? Of course you are all saying that there is no way that I can venture into this stage of motherhood with the same effort and enthusiasm as the first, but I beg to differ and vow to persevere. My second child will be able to find just as many photos of himself after his birth and throughout his first year of life as he will find of his older brother. Trust me-the second time will be no different from the first.