Well, here I am getting cozy in this thing called motherhood. I am getting used to having spit-up on my shirt, finding pacifiers in my backpack, waking up at 300 am, not eating breakfast, not eating lunch, changing diapers, cleaning spit-up…… You get the picture, I could go on for hours. However, let me clarify that all these things are so worth the smiles, giggles and kisses I receive from my little boy. But you know that God has a sense of humor and just when you think, “okay, I’ve got the hang of this/ I think I an handle this, then BOOM!, life throws you a curve ball”. Well, my curve ball is a doozy! Here I am with a 7 month old baby and I find out that I am pregnant again. Surprise!
I pride myself on being an intellectual of sorts. I am a very career oriented person who has worked hard to achieve a certain level of success in my field of study and I still haven’t achieved all of my goals. Having children was also one of my most important goals, but as most career women realize, it is hard to fit all of these things in our lives. Especially when we have the dreaded “biological-clock” (God’s humor at work again). I mean it kind of seems as if we are fighting a losing battle because the older you get and the more you accomplish, the more you realize that you just might not be able to do it all perfectly. I still haven’t accepted that yet.
But, I digress. I had my son on December 18, 2008 and my world changed drastically. My husband and I thought we had made adjustments getting used to married life, but that was nothing compared to the changes we had in front of us. However, by July of 2009, I was working part-time, raising my son, loving my husband, keeping contact with my friends, remembering birthdays of family members, basically being superwoman and feeling okay with the role when everything came to a screeching halt.. In denial, I took a home pregnancy test and my suspicions were confirmed; we were having another baby. I, initially, was in total shock and I felt this fragile world that I had struggled to balance in the past 7 months was slowly falling back into that state of chaos I felt right after my son was born. Needless to say, my husband thought the news was great. Why wouldn’t he? He could still have a beer to celebrate, his body would still fit into his clothes, he wouldn’t be puking his brains out on a daily basis, his career would still stay on track, he could still lie on his stomach and read, and he wouldn’t be classified as AMA (advanced maternal age).
Well, it is now the end of July and I am 16 weeks pregnant and a little less sick and a little less shocked. I might even say I am excited (Delirium can do that to you). Now, I don’t know what my plans are and how we plan to tackle these new life changes, but as any strong woman knows, I will continue and persevere. So, my therapy will be to document these monumental changes in hopes of gaining some insight as to the right decisions to make and to hopefully make others laugh, cry and learn from my experiences.